I am excited to be a participant in the WOW! Women on Writing Book Tour and Book Giveaway of Bringing in Finn by Sara Connell.
Yesterday I reviewed Bringing in Finn. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, you can do so now or after reading the interview with Sara.
Today Sara joins me in an interview about the struggles and losses, the gift of surrogacy and the new addition to Sara and Bill’s family. Please join me in welcoming Sara to Found Between the Covers.
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FBTC: Sara, I think the first thing most of your readers and those who follow my blog may likely be curious to know is when you first began to think about writing the story of the journey you and your mother would take to bring Finn into the world. Would you share your thoughts with us?
Sara: Thank you, Sherrey. I had been writing for several years professionally and for most of my life (in the closet!) and my professional writing had all been about women and health and healing so when our journey to parenthood took the unexpected and incredible path that it did, I felt moved to write about our experience. More than that- I was aware that certain memoir writers-Elizabeth Gilbert, Ann Lamott, Cheryl Strayed, Jeanette Walls- had made a powerful impact on me. Because of their courage and honesty, I experienced great inspiration and motivation and hope when I walked through challenges. I wanted to do whatever I could to write in that vein- to give back in some way what those writers had given me as a reader.
I asked my mother and husband if they were open to me writing the book when we were about 3 months pregnant with Finn and they very generously agreed! While it is and feels scary as a writer to write about some of the closest people in your life, I think it is an act of colossal generosity and faith to agree to be written about!
FBTC: During the time, you and your husband, Bill, attempted to conceive via methods other than natural conception, it appears that as a couple you had discussed the possibilities that might await you. A quote from your book follows. Could you elaborate on the conflicting emotions you must have been experiencing to later write these words?
I grieved, for a moment more, the idea of making a baby by making love—no doctors, treatments, or money involved; just Bill and me, natural and organic. But I was also excited. We were crossing a threshold—from we’ll see what happens into actively trying to become pregnant.
FBTC: In your book, you reference the renewal and refreshing of bonds with both your parents. As I recall, this was after the stillbirth of your twins and before the possibility of surrogacy had been mentioned by your mother. At the time of this healing between you and your parents, did these feelings surprise you? Give you hope? Or affect you in some other way?
FBTC: Your mother’s decision and desire to enter into surrogacy for you and your husband, Bill, is quite an undertaking for a woman of nearly 60 years. Initially what did you feel and/or think about this possibility? What were your concerns for your mother?
FBTC: During your first visit to Dr. Colaum with your mother, you reflect on the charge given by your London therapist to offer “unconditional acceptance to my family and working to change myself.” Do you believe that your status as an adult woman who had experienced pregnancy and then loss of those babies positioned you and your mother on some more level plain? And was there a sense of mutual healing between you?
FBTC: When Dr. Kula asked your mother how she came to this vision, your mother responded, ““I saw Sara suffering. And I thought, I don’t know if I can carry a baby, but I can get in there with her. She doesn’t have to do this alone.” What emotions did you sense at hearing these words?
FBTC: Now, to an all important question, reflect with us on your feelings once you held Finn in your arms and then took him home with you and Bill as his parents.
FBTC: And if it isn’t too personal, can you catch us up on Finn’s world now? His age, his accomplishments, the funny things he does, anything you’d like to share with our readers today
Sara: Of course! Finn is a fun, lively, smart, neat, active, creative little kid! He is really into music, trains, trucks and all manner of locomotive devices and machines and has tried out soccer, gymnastics and a variety of activities so far. He started pre-school this fall so that is a big adjustment and he is into the cooking class they have once a week as well as the regular running around physical stuff especially with the boys in his class. This summer he got really into rockets (helped by a visit to the Air & Space Museum) so we painted a part of his room with chalkboard paint and drew rockets and glow in the dark stars, and he was an astronaut for Halloween.Every day, I marvel at him. And I am grateful.
Sara, thank you so much for joining us today and for answering some questions. I’m sure there are others like you and Bill who are considering in vitro fertilization or perhaps adoption, and it’s my hope that our exchange will be helpful to them.
to one lucky reader who takes the time to enter!
Sara Connell is an author, speaker, and life coach with a private practice in Chicago. She has appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America, NPR, The View, FOX News and Katie Couric. Sara’s writing has been featured in: The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, Parenting, Psychobabble, Evolving Your Spirit, and Mindful Metropolis magazines. Her first book, Bringing in Finn; an Extraordinary Surrogacy Story (Sept 4, 2012 Seal Press), was nominated for Book of the Year 2012 by Elle magazine.
Sara’s Website: http://www.saraconnell.com
Sara’s Blog: http://www.saraconnell.com/blog
Sara on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SaraConnellAuthorSpeakerCoach
Sara’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/saracconnell